It was two weeks after my internship that I got a call requesting me to report to my first job on September 12th, 2007! I was the only one among eight interns to receive a callback from the ministry with a job offer. However, unlike others who would have been celebrating, my self-esteem was so low that I wondered, "Why me? What's special about me?" To be honest, as I realised later in life, it was my mannerism, decorum, positive attitude, and willingness to learn and assist my seniors that got me the offer. My desired jobs at other public offices had evaded me, but the job at the Ministry of Infrastructure, Ports, Energy, and Labour had chosen me.
My self-esteem eroded during my childhood. Not that I had an underprivileged or bad life. My brother and I had a comfortable life because of my father, who was a mason and a bus driver. My mother worked as domestic help. Both my parents could not make it to secondary school. But they raised me with the belief that having an education and direction are prerequisites for adults. I grew up in Castries, Saint Lucia as a fortunate young lady. My house was located in an area surrounded by schools and colleges, which eased transportation costs for us. I dreamt of being a teacher. My father had made me a chalkboard on which I'd pretend to be a teacher to my dolls. I was even good at my favourite subject, "Spellings."
However, something terrible happened when I was about eight years old. I became a victim of child abuse by one of our close family members. Like most victims, I hid the incident within me for the fear of what people would think of me. This way, I gradually lost confidence, self-esteem, and the zeal to be social. I had no passion for anything. I lost interest in school and church. I honestly thought something was wrong with me. Only during my secondary school did
I begin to learn what was really going on. I learned about the consequences of abuse, such as molestation. By that time, I had lost my desire to teach. But I was adamant that I needed education. I mustered just enough strength to make it through secondary school to get into college. Despite the incident and its disastrous effects, I'm the first in my family to attend a college and the only one thus far to complete a first degree. Given the card I dealt with, I maintained survival mode and had little interest in anything in my life. Hence, years later, I was surprised by a job offer from the ministry.
I started my career as a clerk/typist. Whenever the opportunity rose, like when people went on vacations or got promoted, I acted in their capacity and eventually became the Executive Officer. But then, the Permanent Secretary offered me the opportunity to be his secretary. I took that opportunity and am currently working in the position. The job was totally different from my job at the ministry. Moreover, my self-esteem needed a push. With great effort, I addressed my inner issues and dealt with them. Only three years ago, I adopted the Latin maxim, Fortune Favours the Brave, as my mantra. It helped build my confidence and helped me look forward to rewards for my hard work and effort. I literally became brave as I confronted my inner self and fought my monsters. As I emerged as a stronger woman, I saw the vast opportunities that lay before me.
My first step was to complete my Bachelor's Degree which I did in 2018. Over the years, I have been coached and mentored by my seniors. I've interacted with foreign delegates, local clients, and the staff of the ministry. To maintain peace, I even had to diffuse conflicts between colleagues. Hence, I've gained the trust of many of my colleagues. I've been told repeatedly that I have the makings of a Permanent Secretary. I was initially sceptical about these prophecies. When I looked back at my experience, I knew if I qualified myself, I could become a Permanent Secretary someday. I thought about my future and its advantages. I've come up in my service in the same line, and so are most Permanent Secretaries. Whenever a contract-based Permanent Secretary from the private sector comes in, I've noticed that they cause extra pressure on staff. We need to explain to them the bureaucracies attached to the civil service. Often, they don't understand the cries, needs, and plight of people in lower grades and the injustices that can be dealt with. Hence, it makes them numb to certain complaints and concerns.
I have always been displeased with the narrative that civil servants are lazy. For this reason, I always perform at my utmost best at my job. Sadly, changing the public perception of civil servants can't be done single-handedly. But with my colleagues, I'm building a positive mindset in the public's eyes one step at a time. I'm using every conversation to prepare them for the change that is needed in public service. I believe it starts with the youth entering the service, and this would be my chance to change the negative narrative of public servants.
In my family, my younger cousins love me. To push their motivation, I promise certain things in exchange for good grades. I'm there with them on their weekends for their lessons as well as to take them on fun times. One of my cousins (They call me Aunty Joyce) said recently, " Aunty, one day I will grow up and have a nice home and car and I will be the best driver like you." I felt good! So I informed them that having a good education and being disciplined will get you these things. I made them see their true potential and understand why I was pushing them to do better all the time. I tell them I want them to do better than me.
While I have the experience to work in my favour, the competitiveness of my field is increasing. The younger generations are aware of the value of education. So, there is an influx of Masters Degree holders into the field. My experience, efficient work, and qualifications are what will justify my career growth opportunities. I'm currently 34 and married only recently. However, my seniors have explained how strenuous it can be to study with kids, personal life, and work. So, even before I start my family, I decided to earn a Masters.
So, considering all these reasons, I enrolled in a Masters Program in Public Administration to equip myself with the qualifications and tools. It will give me the boost I need for my career. Studying part-time is never an easy deal, but I intend to give my best. Above all, I want to become an example of perseverance and a beacon of hope to my family and younger employees. I tell my younger colleagues to persevere. I share my story with them and what allowed that callback after my internship. I teach them my values and how to approach their work. Indeed, I intend to give back to the community by preparing a "How to Approach Your New Job" workshop for students graduating from Secondary School and college.
Finally, I believe I can offer some advice to those who need it. I’d advise them to learn it all. Everything that you learn about public service can and will be used somewhere along the way. Remain courteous, polite, and a people person. Others will follow when they see your light. Be the change that you want to see. Studying Public Administration will enlighten your thinking and help you see the areas that need to be tackled for a better and more productive service. I have learnt a lot thus far. I can actually relate my studies to my work environment because I have a better understanding of what's going on. I think that anyone who plans to stay in the public service should study Public Administration.